I did some calculating. With 12 weeks left till IMFL, I have more time than I thought. I was thinking, September should be my peak month but is going to be complicated by the new job at the new campground in an area where I don't know where to bike or run or swim. And maybe it will be, but I figured out with a calendar what distance-increases I need to do, and it's doable. I had thought I had no time left: I was thinking, August is half over, September is shot, October is taper month, I've gone as far as I can go. But that's far from the way things are. September isn't shot; I just need to find out where to train. And it will be warmer longer in Winchester, VA than home here at Deep Creek Lake, MD. If I increase my long swim by 5 minutes a week, my long bike 10 miles every 2 weeks, my long run 2-3 miles every 2-3 weeks, I'll be ready to do the 2.4-mile/112-mile AquaVelo at ChesapeakeMan Sept. 30, rest from that, and still be able to do a 20-mile run a couple weeks later, 3 weeks before IMFL. I'll be ready. This is going to work out.
Ran yesterday, I'm working up my nerve to bike tomorrow, conservatively, a couple hours; today I swam. Couple-minute drive to the lake, easy laps in the swim area for an hour, 2250 yards. I'm not tired. Swimming easy doesn't tire me. It relaxes me. I wore my full wetsuit, although I didn't need to for the water temperature, but it was good to practice wearing it.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I get really down sometimes, as my friends all know. I think *jeanne* is right that I was still exhausted from whatever went wrong on my bike ride Sunday; Nancy is right that 25 hours of work and 15 hours of training add up to much more than 40 hours; everyone is right that I need more rest and need to trust myself more, and maybe respect myself more too.
Now I'm going to get some photos ready to enter tomorrow in the great prestigious Garrett County Fair. Not exactly the Louvre but I expect some ribbons and I can use any validation that comes along right now. Because along with toying with giving up on IMFL, I've been considering selling my camera as well. Some kind of "what's-the-use"conspiracy against myself to abandon everything I care about.
So I'm staying in the game.... continuing my training, and putting pictures in the fair. Ribbons will make me decide to keep my camera and start taking pictures again.