First, though.... isn't today's date cool? 7/8/9. Won't happen again till 8/9/10.
Our granddaughter Gracie, when she was about 6, had a favorite joke: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. We laughed and said it was funny. She told it to us every time we saw her for a couple years. One summer, when she was maybe 9, she asked the question, and I answered: "Because 7 8 9." She was silent a moment and then burst out laughing: "Oh! I get it! Because 7 ate 9!" Then she looked abashed and said, "Took me long enough....."
Anyway....
I'm 6 steps forward and 2 steps back adjusting to off-Trail life. Yesterday was a rest day from training and I couldn't find anything to do with myself except read and eat. I finished John Steinbeck's "Tortilla Flat" -- a hilarious tragedy -- and started a borrow-and-bring-back from a coffee house: Jan Karon's "Home to Holly Springs."
I ate like an idiot. We didn't have any junk food so I made my own out of weird combinations. My weight is up 3 pounds today.... too many carbohydrates = fluid gain. My Google average is up a pound from last week although it still says "Maintaining your weight." I ate a lot of stupid stuff because I couldn't think of anything to do. I could have played the guitar or penny whistle (piano isn't set back up yet) or cleaned out my closet or.... but I didn't. I ate and lay on the couch and read books.
I haven't decided how much weight it's OK to regain. I thought I was 15 pounds overweight at the start of my hike and lost 20-21. I'd like to stay just under where I'd been if I'd lost the 15 -- which is where I am now.
I felt restless and sluggish all day. Maybe I should go take a hike on "rest days." I felt depressed and unmotivated. Hiking all day every day took the decision-making out of the Trail days. Wake up, hike 15-20 miles, stop, eat, sleep. Decisions were like, fill my empty bottle at this creek, or do I have enough in my other bottle to make it to the next one? Never anything like how to fill empty days.
Last night I slept in my sleeping bag on the deck outside our camper. It was cool and breezy and the bag/underpad combination felt right and today I feel better. Going grocery shopping and then out to walk/run on the SMan course, then taking care of Abbie and Sarah for the afternoon and evening.
1 comment:
Ellie,
Expect a period of unease as you readjust. After a big, goal race of 100 miles, many runners fumble for a month or so. You have come in from a 1,000 mile, once in a lifetime event.
I hesitate to call it depression, but almost so. Your mind has to reset itself to the new routine and new goals. Like you said, the trail took all the decision making out of it.
I remember getting so "trail bound" I didn't know what day it was or where I was. I would know I slept at such and such and was going to so and so.
Take it easy on yourself, this is normal. This too will pass.
Steve
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