THE SNOW CAVE

 Ostensibly, I got a lot done today.

I went to the post office to return a pair of rubber shoe covers that didn't fit (when I was a kid we called them "rubbers" but that's another innocent word that means something else nowadays.) That in itself is an accomplishment because the return is no longer hanging over my head and the box is no longer underfoot.

I went to the grocery store, the Dollar Store, and the hardware store.

I put 12 cans of chicken (5oz. each, $1 each at the Dollar Store) in the dehydrator. That's chicken once a week on the Appalachian Trail this summer.

I took down the Christmas tree. I watched the Olympic Trials Marathon and Purina Super Dog competition with my mother (or something like that... Incredible Dog?)

I cleaned out a laundry basket full of stuff that's been sitting here for a year or so, stuff from our camper that we sold. A whole year and I've never sorted out the stuff. Now I have. My IronMan Florida Finisher license tag frame was in there. It hasn't been on a vehicle because it's broken. It's plastic, not easy to fix. I held it and looked at it for a long time, then threw it away. I have an IronMan Florida Finisher shirt, hat, and jacket. Throwing away the tag frame doesn't take away my finish. I was 54 at the time.

Made dinner, then we (husband, mother, and I) went to our son's to watch the football games. Played a lot of rough-and-tumble with the granddaughters. Abbie, the oldest, got to stay up late, and she and I talked about assassinations (MLK Day) and she asked me why Abigail Adams was famous, and how she died. I didn't know how she died. We googled it and learned that Abigail Adams died of typhoid. Abbie wanted to know what that was; I told her people get it from drinking dirty water but in our part of the world in modern days we have clean water (because she would worry about drinking water after learning that.) Abbie will be 9 in a couple weeks.
 
Now we're home. But I'm still in my snow cave. All those activities were acts, fronts, maybe illusions. There's evidence that I did them but inside my mind everything is still dim, blue, and frozen.

I think I need exercise. I hiked 7 miles with my hiking pal Chrissie on Thursday but that was the last time I saw myself move. Maybe tomorrow I will go for a hike. Outdoors is not dim and blue.... it's white. Frozen, but alive.